Earlier on in my parenting journey, I noticed a pattern – when I felt low energy or big emotions, I would ask for space.
Asking for physical space was a great first step.
But, time and again, I found myself engaging in activities that consumed my energy, like scrolling on social media, looking at emails, checking my to-do list, etc.
Consequently, I felt more depleted than before.
This pattern of unconsciously choosing energy-consuming activities when I needed a boost didn’t help me show up as I aspired.
Feeling guilty, I wanted to change this and do better.
Do you relate?
Doing better starts with a plan that includes:
- Identifying patterns of low-energy moments
- Acknowledging existing strategies to renew energy and evaluating their effectiveness
- Brainstorming new strategies that genuinely renew our energy
- Experimenting!
Ready to start planning?
Becomers' weekly challenge - Create your energy boost plan
Before we jump into the challenge, I want to emphasize that the questions below are designed to help you gain clarity, so you can make choices that are more aligned with your values and purpose.
1. Identifying patterns of low-energy moments
The main goal is to identify regular low-energy moments so we can prepare for them differently.
Reflect on your daily routines:
- At what times of the day do you normally feel low energy? For me it was when I transitioned from work to home, after dinner, or when I had a restless sleep.
- What activities/scenarios normally leave you with less energy? For me, it happens when I work till the last minute before I pick up my kids, when I facilitate conflicts, or when my kids need my attention at the same time.
Choose one time and/or activity in which you want to show up better.
2. Acknowledge and evaluate
- What strategies do you actively use to renew your energy and how do they work for you?
- How can you do more of the strategies that work well?
- Which strategy would you like to stop using? What will support you in doing so? For many parents, the mobile device is in the way.
Note: try to approach this evaluation without judgment. It’s normal not to feel proud about some strategies or feel guilty about previous choices. It’s important to remind ourselves that whatever strategy we have been using, it probably serves something – perhaps it gave us momentary comfort or a sense of control. The goal of this exercise is NOT to just be positive and have high energy all the time. But, to move forward with more clarity and choice.
3. Brainstorm new strategies that genuinely renew your energy
The goal here is to think about activities that clear your mind and open your heart.
There are many things we do during the day that fill our energy. They can easily turn into effective strategies.
Here are a few examples: Asking for hugs? Putting on some music and dancing? Asking to play YOUR favorite game? Calling for an SSR (silent social reading). Making tea/coffee? Walking barefoot on the grass?
Go deeper: Divide your list into three different categories:
- You need physical space but can’t really take it – what are the things that ground you in the moment? Think about a mantra that gives you strength, a breathing exercise, or soothing touch. Also, think about an activity that changes things for the better for everyone – it could be playing a song that everyone loves, dancing, going outside, or playing a game that YOU really enjoy playing. Remember that the idea is not to dismiss what we feel and just be positive, but rather to acknowledge and validate everyone’s state AND take action that helps in regulating this state.
- You need space and only have 5-10 min – taking a quick shower, meditating, journaling, envisioning how you want to show up when you return.
- You need space and have 20 min plus just for yourself – go for a run, do yoga, go out for a coffee, nature walk, museum, or do anything that clears your mind.
4. Experiment
Choose a new strategy you want to experiment with in one of the low-energy moments you identified in step #1. Practice it, reflect, modify and repeat. The critical thing is not to try changing everything as it will likely overwhelm you and won’t last. Approach change one step at a time to ensure lasting change.
Bonus!
Help your kids create their own energy boost kit. You can take a box and add into it a few items or activities that renew their energy. It could include their favorite book, journals/sketchbooks, crayons/markers/stickers, a few Lego bricks, or anything else they like.
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
This plan works great and serves me every day. I hope it will be valuable for you too.
If you have any suggestions or questions, please leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Good luck!
Onward,
Liz
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