Nature reminds us daily that every tree, big or small, started from a seed.
The birth of our kids planted the seed of parenting within us.
It’s on us to cultivate this seed to become the parents we aspire to be.
However, this process starts with a commitment to being a Learner First.
A learner who nourishes and cultivates this seed AND honors its unique pace of growth.
Because in the same way we can’t expect a seed to grow into a big tree right away, we can’t expect to immediately turn into the parents we aspire to be.
Why being a Learner First is liberating?
We don’t need to pretend we are big trees if we are not there yet.
Approaching parenting as learners who genuinely seek to develop our abilities and learn from mistakes, frees us from the pressure to perform perfection.
It frees us from proving, acting, or hiding parts of us that we are not proud of.
It frees us from unrealistic expectations and unhealthy social norms and stereotypes.
It gives us the space to be our full selves, with all our imperfections.
Although acknowledging and accepting our imperfections might feel uncomfortable, it serves both our own growth and the growth of others.
Why?
- Accurate self assessment – when we are honest about where we are, we can start reflecting on how to develop our abilities based on our present state rather than based on where we think we should be.
- Progress – we focus on taking small steps to intentionally improve our abilities from beginners to intermediate, rather than trying to prove we are advanced.
- Role modeling – our kids benefit from witnessing us experimenting with strategies, making mistakes, progressing, and eventually changing the way we show up.
Approaching parenting as learners is what it takes to learn smarter not harder.
And it’s what it takes to model healthy ways to grow seeds into thriving trees.
Becomers weekly challenge
Learner First is one of the three guiding principles at the Becoming Lab. Bring the benefits of this principle home.
This week, spend 5-10 minutes a day to reflect:
- What is one parenting skill you genuinely want to develop?
- What are you going to practice?
- How do you plan to role model your growth in this area?
For example, I want to develop my (emotion regulation skills). This week I’m going to practice (asking for space when I feel big emotions). You can support my learning by (giving me reminders and feedback).
Dare to acknowledge & accept where you are. Dare to honor your growth pace.
Onward with freedom,
Liz
P.S. Happy Holidays!
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