“But why do I have to be so shy?”, my daughter asked me in tears when she was 6 y/o.
She wanted to perform with her friends on stage, but her shyness held her back.
It was a heartbreaking moment to see her feeling so torn and sad.
Three years later, she participated in several shows in front of a large audience, faced her fears, and felt proud of the progress she made.
Her growth didn’t happen by magic.
In fact, during this process, day to day, her growth was invisible.
She kept refusing to perform when opportunities arose.
The feedback loop was missing.
And that was hard to navigate.
It took regulating my fears in moments when I thought I was failing to support her and that she would miss so much in life.
It required finding calm and courage in this unknown.
And it took training my eyes to see progress in different ways, which were not related to whether she performed or not.
Her signs of progress included:
learning about neuroplasticity – the brain’s ability to grow and change.
practicing how to catch and challenge thoughts that told her she can’t do it.
learning about emotions and making choices.
performing in safe environments.
These are the roots both she and I needed to grow to help her become ready.
Like in nature, growth is invisible.
In the same way we can’t see the roots growing under the surface, we can’t immediately see human growth and change as they occur.
Cultivating growth is a daily lifelong practice that takes a lot of trust.
Having faith and trusting the process of growth is not always easy.
We need to recognize that some seeds grow slowly and invisibly.
It takes believing that even if we don’t see growth yet, we will.
Believe 💛
Becomers weekly challenge
Familiarizing yourself with neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to grow and change, helps to develop trust in the process. Neuroscience explains that there are physiological mechanisms that take place in the brain when we learn, practice, and work hard to get better.
Watch this 2-min clip and reflect – How can you encourage yourself to trust the process, especially when growth is invisible?
* I highly recommend showing and discussing it with your kids.
Stay centered and courageous in the wilderness 🌟
Liz
P.S. During May I’m opening up 1:1 spaces aimed to help parents leverage existing challenges for growth. Contact me for more details.
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